Eating My Own Dog Food

Eating My Own Dog Food
Cally will happily eat dog food - anytime, anywhere.

A CIO I worked with regularly stated that "We need to eat our own dog food."

Time for me to eat my own dog food.

When I wrote Change in 4D in 2019-2020, I had no idea I would be going on the cancer journey.  Now that I am on the journey, it has been a great opportunity to follow my own advice.

"Each of us goes through seasons and periods of focus and life throws you curveballs that strongly encourage you to change your priorities...

You can ignore the universal call-to-attention you are receiving and keep on your planned path, mindfully pivot to focus on the call-to-attention or attempt to merge your desired goals with the call-to-attention." - Change in 4D, page 19.

At the time I wrote those words, an almost throw-away paragraph tucked in the beginning of the book, I had no idea that life was going to bean me in the head like it did in January 2022.  

When the universe beans you in the head severely enough, there are no options. You can't ignore the new priority. Attempts at "mindfulness" are futile with the overwhelming chaos both within and outside you. And having any "desired" goals outside of survival seems like a waste of badly needed energy.

I had underestimated the strength of that curveball.

Now that the smoke has cleared, I can finally think about having other goals beyond "get through 2022."

My baseline now looks wildly different than it did on December 31, 2021.

My single "job" is to get and stay as healthy as possible within the new limits set by my body and with guidance by my healthcare team.  

Everything else is secondary.

If my body decides it's time for the next phase of treatment, I am dropping all other activities and priorities.  

Thankfully, those around me understand that anything I say "yes" to must be held lightly.  My friends and family have been more understanding of my situation than I have and have many fewer expectations of me than I have of myself.  

That said, I still have expectations of myself.  I still have things I want to create and experience. I want to take advantage of this oasis phase and my relative good health.

What might that look like?

What does my best life look like within the current requirements of my health and my circumstances?

2023 is going to be a fun exploration as I attempt to answer that question.